Tuesday 28 December 2010

The US economy

VERSE
F
When I was young
C
I was the prodigal son
Dm                          C
Bigger than all of my friends

And when you do that much growing
They want to keep you going
'Cos they've built everything around you

But finally I was stuffed
I had used myself up
And our whole house came tumbling down

CHORUS
F                                  Bf
It's hard for somebody like me
F                                  Bf
To always be all I can be
F                                     Bf
Everyone I see says, 'How's your GDP?'
C
I'm the US economy

VERSE
My cousin Hosan
Over there in Japan
Was always given plenty of time

He took a while to get ready
Now performs slow and steady
And none of his people go without

While my German brother
Is an example of another
Grows a little more every year

CHORUS

MIDDLE
Dm
Spend, spend, buy buy
Am
Push, push, why? why?
C
My heads in a spin

No, no, go go
We're the best, we must grow
There's no way I can win

VERSE
They're pumping me with pills
Thinking that I'm ill
But I just want to take a break

These stimulants don't work
They're just making me hurt
I just need to lose some weight

I'm like a football jock
Taken one too many knocks
And the painkillers don't work anymore

CHORUS

Monday 27 December 2010

Blood on the Ivory Coast

VERSE
[Picked high]
Dm
Nearly 200 people
Dm/F
May have been killed last month
C                                     Am
In a dispute over the election results

Death squads were seen
And sympathisers abducted
While the opposition leader is hidden away

Because the President can't face
The prospect of a break
And kills those who disagree

CHORUS
Dm                               Am
There's blood on the Ivory Coast
G                                   Am
People have seen it, the UN can boast
Dm                               Am
There's blood on the Ivory Coast
G                                 Am
Not long now for, the new civil war
Dm                               Am
There's blood on the Ivory Coast
C                           Dm
But not enough to intervene

VERSE
At a special UN session
The American Ambassador
Said we've heard some credible reports

Of many mass graves
Torture and mistreatment
And people being snatched in the night

Unfortunately
It's been impossible to investigate
We've not allowed to move around

CHORUS

[Strummed fast]
MIDDLE
Dm
With the army on his side
Am
The president will ride
C                             Am
Over the laws of human rights

Until the UN acts
The people will suffer
And the death toll will continue to rise

CHORUS

Saturday 25 December 2010

Students, students, students

VERSE
F#m

Bm

How the privilege parade
When they don't get their fees paid

Asking me to pay for
Their education so they'll earn more
And take my job, when they say that I'm too old

"Education is our right
And for that we're prepared to fight"
For the right to party, and do very little work

CHORUS
F#m
Students, students, students
Bm
Put 'em in a boat
F#m
Students, students, students
Bm
One that doesn't float
C#m
And drown them all

CHORSE

The farcical will fall
As they leave with no skills at all
But a piece of paper, that says I'm educated

CHORUS

MIDDLE
And all this rioting over fees
That have to be paid back in tiny portions


VERSE
Well they're all holier than thou
And this it and how
I hated 'em all, even when I was one

Not a thing that I learned there
Did in any way prepare
Me for the real world, had to start again

And if I had my time again
I'd rip up the letter when
They said come on down, we're doing you a favour 

Cos they took from me three years
And ground me in the gears
Telling how it's done, and this is what you need to know

CHORUS
Teachers, teachers, teachers
Put 'em in a boat
Teachers, teachers, teachers
One that doesn't float
And drown them all

Sunday 12 December 2010

The only cyclist in Athens

VERSE
Am
I started off in circles finding my way around
E
But before long I'm desperately lost
Am
I look out for landmarks but it all looks the same
E
And the signs are in jibberish
                               Am
I'm lost on Athens' streets

The marble streets are slippery after a sharp thunderstorm
And the corners are treacherous
Motorcyclists surround me with their new licenses
Forced by their economy
Onto Athens streets

CHORUS
C                   E
So I ride ever harder
Am              E
Trying to get away
C                   E
But the bikes they are faster
Am              E
And I just can't find my way
                          Am
Off these Athens streets
E                                                         Am
Athens is no place, no place for a rider like me

VERSE
I stick to the bus lanes to stay out of the way
cos they don't have any for bikes
But the taxis come after me and the buses break hard
Spilling their people out
Onto Athens streets

I come off the main roads onto the one-way streets
But the obstacles are hiding there too
Car doors open and drivers pull out
I swerve and I brake and I dodge
Down these Athens streets

CHORUS (cars)

VERSE
I made it to a park where it's peaceful at last
Or so I was foolish to hope
Stray dogs surround me and close in a pack
And the biggest jumps on my bike
I ride to Athens' streets

CHORUS (dogs)

Let there be light

VERSE
C
Where there is much
Am
Let there be loss
C
Where there is waste
Am
Let there be less
Am
Whoever is weighed down by the things in their life
G
Let them be light

VERSE
Where it is full
Let it be clear
Where there is clutter
Let there be space
Where it is dark from the objects in sight
Let there be light

MIDDLE
Am                                           G
There are too many things in the world
                        Am                                        G
Things that we made that we thought that we needed

We need to leave some space in the world
To enjoy what we have so we see what we're needing
Let there be light

VERSE
Where there are goals
Let them be gone
Where there are needs
Let there be none
Whoever is ruled by ambition in their life
Let them see the light

MIDDLE
We all need to see that it is fear
Fear of failing, fear of death
All these comforters we hold onto
Fear of being along or fear of being left
And the insulators that we buy
Against fear of change or fear of distress
And the distractions that we chase
From fear of our own plain hopelessness

TV in my mind

VERSE
G                                                       Bm
I've been watching you on the TV in my mind

G                                                       Bm
You've got your own channel, it's number 45
G
There's a series on our dinners
Bm
And a re-run of your faint
G                                                       Bm
And a special about that kiss up by the church

BRIDGE
C                          D
It's sickly romantic stuff
G                                 Bm
That I wouldn't normally watch
C                                     D                   G
But you're playing on the TV in my mind

CHORUS
G                        Bm
It feels like the longest time
C                                    D
Since I held you in my arms

It feels like the longest time
Since your breath was in my lungs

It feels like the longest time
Since our bodies were as one

VERSE
I confess to liking the channel best late at night
When it plays the programmes your parents wouldn't like
I watch it in slow motion
And freeze-frame certain scenes
It's Tivo so I can do all of these things

BRIDGE
But sometimes I've had enough
And I want to turn it off
But you're stuck on the TV in my mind

CHORUS

MIDDLE
Bm                              G
You're probably not as beautiful
 D       G
In real life
Bm                  G                                    D
For sure you're gonna be much more of a bitch

BRIDGE
But the TV shows the best bits
And you come across as kind
I prefer you on the TV in my mind

CHORUS

The water's on song

VERSE
D
I put the water on, I put the water on
G
Hot water for my shower
D

I put the water on, I put the water on
G
I waited for over an hour

CHORUS
G                             D
And I forgot to turn it off
G                               D
And I got an electric shock
C                   G                   D
That old heater's got it in for me

VERSE
I put the water on, I put the water on
Hot water for my tea
I put the water on, I put the water on
Please save some for me

CHORUS
God only knows
Why you have that electric stove
Gonna buy you an electric kettle

VERSE
I put the water on, I put the water on
For a hot bath before I went out
I put the water on, I put the water on
But no joy now I scream and I shout

CHORUS
I waited at home all day
Until you came home to say
The taps are the wrong way round

The Italians

VERSE
D
Where you from? What you done? When will you be gone?
G
It was the same old situation
D
So we started to play and with music to say
G
But they stayed with their conversation

BRIDGE
D
Are you going to keep talking?
G
It's not that I'm baulking
C
But I will be walking
D
Still the party went on

CHORUS (Same chords as verse)
Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do!
Do-doon't-doon't-do-doodn't-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do!

VERSE
When everybody came they bought a pile of food
It was playing in a delicatesen
And w
You could say that I learned my lesson

BRIDGE
Cos they kept bringing courses
And passing round sauces
Without any pauses
Still the party went on

CHORUS

VERSE
Well they moaned when we said we were going to bed
Cos we had to get a train in the morning
But you couldn't tell that we'd gone cos the party went on
I should have given them a verbal warning

BRIDGE
I don't mean to be surly
Or sound like a girly
But we're getting up early

Still the party went on

CHORUS
Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do!
It's time you were gone
Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do!
Please be moving along
Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do!
That's the end of the song.

Wifi?

VERSE
C
I've searched this whole city
Em
I've wandered all day
F                          G
On a mission to connect to the world

For signals in cafes
And bars in bars
I walked with my laptop held high

Please here the question I cry

CHORUS
C
Do you have wifi?
Am
Please be a nice guy
F
Give me the password
G
I must get online

VERSE
My temper is frayed
My nerves are rubbed raw
I haven't been online in days

All the signals are blocked
And security blocked
Do they think that I'm going to steal it?

My status is old
My blogs out of date
My twitter will whither and die

Please hear the question I cry

CHORUS

OUTRO
Am   Em
At last, in a small cafe
Am                       Em
A quiet little place, hidden away
F
You wouldn't think it from looking
G
But they have it, at last

C
I'm online (Oh God! I can't believe it!)
Am
I'm online (Hallelujah)
F
I'm online (Praise jesus)
G
I'm online (Come on everybody)

I'm online (This is too good to be true)
I'm online (In accepting this award I want to thank...)
I'm online (I'm over the moon!)
I'm online (I'm online)

I'm online (Hello friends)
I'm online (Hello Mother, Hello Father)
I'm online (You thought I'd died)
I'm online (But I'm alive)
And on-line!!!!!!!!!!

The Maria Cubi House Band

VERSE
B
Well it was already dark when our ship rolled in
G#m
And we made our way across town
E
Maria Cubi was a dark little street
F#m
But we followed up the smells and the sounds

The table was full and the
We ate to the rhythm of song
They were passing the bottle just as much as the guitar
And it all went soaring by

CHORUS
That was a fun night
The music was out of sight
We played until the morning light
And the wine was really alright

VERSE
Well they started playing songs we'd never heard before
But we were alright singing along
Then we played the classics we didn't know we knew
And we got them more right than wrong

When he got out the double bass the party kicked off
Man that cat could really play

They were passing the bottle just as much as the guitar
And it all went soaring by 

CHORUS

VERSE
I woke up in the morning with a brick in my head
I don't remember where it all went wrong
The House of the Rising Sun, should have been my last song
Then I wouldn't have seen the real one

But it was worth it for the memory if I could see through the fog
And remember that unforgettable night
They were passing the bottle just as much as the guitar
And it all went soaring by 

CHORUS

CHORUS
I hope tonight
Won't be a fun night
I could really use an early night
I'm still not feeling alright

I didn't sleep so good

CHORUS
E
I didn't sleep so good (the boat was really rocking)
A
I didn't sleep so good (my head I kept on knocking)
B
I didn't sleep so good (better not piss me off)

VERSE
E
I tried it on the bench with an armrest in my back
A
I don't know what sadistic fuck designed it like that
E                                           B
I gotta lay down, I can't sleep sitting up

I saw you moving around to find a way to suit you
I think you tried more positions than the Karma Sutra
But you won't get satisfaction with an armrest up your arse

CHORUS

VERSE
I tried it on the couch, I tried it on the floor
I was drifting in and out until I woke up around four
When the man at the back started snoring, like a horse

There are other ways to economize
I can do without food or material prizes
But next time Emma, I've gotta have a bed

CHORUS

VERSE
Well the cabins were expensive so we had to ride couch
58 for a shared, a hundred for your own
At least now I know the price of a good night's sleep

They didn't just make it cramped they also made it cold
I didn't have a blanket so I put on all my clothes
And I was shivering all night, rocking along with the boat

CHORUS

Better not piss me off

On the train to Rome

CHORUS (C Am F C)
On the train to Rome
Two rolling stones
Both not alone
But no closer to home

VERSE
C
Emma you must be tired, you should get some sleep
F
I'll wake you up in plenty of time

Jack you're looking cold, use my coat as a blanket
Got to keep yourself warm

BRIDGE
G
Like a sister to a brother
We have to look after each other

CHORUS

VERSE
Well I can see your neck is stiff, turn around I'll give you a massage
Your bag is too fucking big

Give me your card and I'll make the reservations
I will do the thinking today

I made sandwiches and you can have some
Got to keep your strength up

Come stand beside me and we can do some yoga
I have a special routine

CHORUS

OUTRO
Am
And when we arrive
F
You can wait inside
G
I'll get you a delightful
C
Indian takeaway (repeat to fade)

Cold cure blues

VERSE  (C#  C  B  F#)
[Jack and Emma alternate]
I've got a cold coming
I feel it my bones
Rising up
It's gonna be a big one

The fastest cure in the East or West
Is liquid silver down the neck
It's a miracle cure
Works every time for me

It's too expensive and I ain't got none
But I feel the symptoms coming on
My nose is streaming
Working up a head of steam

Pour salt water into each nose
Swirl around until the muscous goes
It dries out the sinuses
Will make the cold go faster

CHORUS (C# F# C# F#)
I've got the cold cure blues
The symptoms or the cure?
I've got the cold cure blues
What's worse well I'm not sure
I've got the cold cure blues

VERSE
That's hurt like hell I need a modern cure
I spent a fortune at the drug store
But it's getting worse
My throat is really raw

Take a clove of garlic in the side of the mouth
It's the best known cure North or South
An antiseptic
Let the juices down

And talk to people with garlic breath?
Ah but it's getting worse now it's on my chest
I'm coughing up phlegm
All colours of the rainbow

Honey in hot water is the best cough mixture
Cheap and easy and bound to fix you
Leave all those expensive drugs
On the shelf

CHORUS

Yoga girl

VERSE (F C Dm7 C)
She rises in the morning
With the birds
Goes to that special place
Deep in herself


Goes through her movements
Like a cat
Stretching out
Reaching up up up


CHORUS
That's my yoga girl
All she can be
Supple and silent
Lithe and free


My yoga girl
A picture of grace
A powerful creature
Contained in herself


VERSE
I see her body
So thin but so strong
Lifting herself
Above the world


In the watery morning light
Her siloutte dances
The first dusty rays
Give her a glow oh oh


CHORUS


MIDDLE (Dm/Am/C)
And she doesn't know that I'm there
Watching her silently
As she moves and rolls and writhes


And she doesn't know that I care
For her so deeply
As she comes back to lie next to me


CHORUS