Saturday, 19 January 2008

Denim Hell




DENIM HELL
By Jack Stafford

VERSE 1:
Am Am/E
Welcome to my world of pain
Am/F#
Where everybody shops at the same store
B7
I don’t think I can take anymore

VERSE 2:
I may be strutting down the street unfurled
But I’m still trapped in the material world with you
Hell isn’t red it’s blue

CHORUS:
C
I’m dying in a denim hell
G
At the hands of the fashion cartel
F G
Smothered by denim drones and identical clones

VERSE 2:
They are the norm
But I don’t need to conform
I won’t wear a uniform, it’s war
I’m taking on the denim corp.

CHORUS

MIDDLE:
Am F Em
I want to set fire to the fabric of society
Burn through to see some individuality

C
Mothers daughters fathers sons
G
Wearing denim everyone…

CHORUS

Tuesday, 15 January 2008

PDD



The problems of parenting in a lazy, fast food culture.

PDD
By Jack Stafford

VERSE 1
G D C G
I hear you’ve got a kid, wild and free
Em C D G
And you don’t know, what it could be

He’s wrecking your house, destroying your home
Can’t be left for two minutes alone

Just when you’re on the edge of insanity
You discover the term ADD

Now you can give him plenty of treats
Chocolate, cookies, crisps and sweets
Drive him to school, never walk anywhere
Don’t let him play outside
When he’s hyper with pent-up energy
Get him tested for ADD

Make all his food tasty and colorful
Sugary drinks and ice cream by the tub-full
Everything’s processed, nothing’s fresh
Minimal vegetable, plenty of flesh
Then when he’s at Grandma’s and won’t sit down for tea
Blame it on the ADD

Let him stay up late every night
Get up in the morning whenever he likes
Indulge his rugged rebellious streak
Give him a new toy every week
When people say he’s spoilt
Whisper to friends that it’s ADD

MIDDLE
C
Fill him with fear of the stranger danger
The candymen that don’t need the dark
Keep him off the streets he could get by a car
And away from the syringes in the park
Give him all the freedom in the world, as long as he’s inside

VERSE 2
Let him spend days in combat game sessions
Sign him up for karate lessons
Build up his collection of ninja toys
Stick him in daycare with bigger boys
Then when he makes his sister bleed
Spank him for his ADD

Keep him quiet with animation
If he’s causes ttouble he goes in isolation
Don’t bother to plead to get him to read
Talk to the kid like a kid
When he can’t master his ABC
It’s another symptom of ADD

Give him 300 channels and a remote control
40 games for his portable console
20 cereals and 30 shoes
Kill his attention span and ability to choose
So if he doesn’t win the spelling bee
He’ll be able to say it’s his ADD

Memorize the symptoms on Wikipedia
Spout all the stats you heard in the media
Blame the teachers and his education
Sedate him with Ritalin medication
While you at it get something for your anxiety
Float away together on ADD

When he’s older and wiser and his life is a mess
Can’t cope with working or get any success
He’ll remember the snacks of his infancy
All the sugar you ate in pregnancy
When he accuses you of parental deficiency
Plead the 5th and ADD

Friday, 28 December 2007

Anywhere but here




I noticed a few articles in newspapers about wind farms being built in different areas and different objections to them so it begged for a song.

Listen to The Jack Stafford Foundation - Anywhere but here

ANYWHERE BUT HERE
By Jack Stafford

VERSE 1
A
I had my epiphany
D A
Under an English apple tree
A
Seeing the wind through the branches
D A
I called it renewable energy
A
Finally to all men’s wrangling
D A
I had the solution
A
I ran down the hill with sketched out plans
D A
To show mum and dad what I’d done
D
They said, we both agree it’s a great idea
E D A
But you can’t build it here

VERSE 2 – house prices
OK said I, I’ll got to the village
Where they’ll welcome me with open arms
The gift of cheap electricity
Poor people are without qualms
So I was shocked to hear their unanimous cry
Are you out of your mind?
Do you know what it will do to house prices?
We don’t like your kind
We’ve all agreed it’s a great idea
But you can’t build it here

VERSE 3 - aesthetics
So I perfected my plans and searched the land
For a place for my designs
I’ll get somewhere far away from folks
And send the power back down the lines
So began my adventure
I went high to a mountain top
Far into the wilderness
Where only tourists stop

I was putting up my tent when
Conservationists sprang from behind a rock
This thing will sully the view my friend
Its construction we will block
We all agree it’s a great idea
But you can’t build it here

[Lead break]

VERSE 4 - light
Fine I said I’ll put it out of harm’s way
And build a farm for the wind
I bought up tracks of unwanted land
With no rights they could rescind
But the neighbours clubbed together
They’d read of flickering sunlight
It’ll worry our precious dairy cows
We’re going to put up a fight
We all agree it’s a great idea
But you can’t build it here

VERSE 5 - noise
Enough I said indignantly
I’m gonna take this to the city
There no one has the right complain
They use most of the electricity
So I made the acquisitions
And the appropriate submissions
But the local council said it will be too loud
We’re denying you planning permission
We all agree it’s a great idea
But you can’t build it here

MIDDLE
G
From its flashing blades
D
I hear ice comes off

And from all the wear
Even the blades break off

Your dangerous propellers
Will cause too much fear

Instead we are
Going to go, for nuclear

VERSE 6 - birds
Even more determined now
I took the train to the coast
A deserted spot for miles around
Here I’d build my post
But then a gang of ornithologists
Surrounded me and said
This thing will cause carnage son
Go somewhere else instead
We all agree it’s a great idea
But you can’t build it here

VERSE 7 – carbon dioxide
Oh my God this is to save the planet
Fine I’ll go off to an island
There’s a peat bog on the Isle of Lewis
They’re sure to need the money
But environmentalists met me off the ferry
With tales of the carbon store
That building on this precious land
Would release into the atmosphere
We all agree it’s a great idea, yes
But you can’t build it here

VERSE 8 - dolphins
Exhausted I gave it one last shot
And out to sea I swam
Drilling into the ocean bedrock
Finally I’d see my plan
It was going well until these marine biologists
Dropped down their demands
The rumble will damage dolphin’s sonar
Head on back to land
We all agree it’s a great idea
But you can’t build it here

VERSE 9 – denmark
My body battered by the disappointment
My soul drained by the fight
I was only kept afloat by a vision
And the knowledge I was right
I drifted with the current
Unconscious with the fish
Until I was finally awoken
By a language I learnt was Danish
We hear you’ve a great idea
[Whistle]