The problems of parenting in a lazy, fast food culture.
PDD
By Jack Stafford
VERSE 1
G D C G
I hear you’ve got a kid, wild and free
Em C D G
And you don’t know, what it could be
He’s wrecking your house, destroying your home
Can’t be left for two minutes alone
Just when you’re on the edge of insanity
You discover the term ADD
Now you can give him plenty of treats
Chocolate, cookies, crisps and sweets
Drive him to school, never walk anywhere
Don’t let him play outside
When he’s hyper with pent-up energy
Get him tested for ADD
Make all his food tasty and colorful
Sugary drinks and ice cream by the tub-full
Everything’s processed, nothing’s fresh
Minimal vegetable, plenty of flesh
Then when he’s at Grandma’s and won’t sit down for tea
Blame it on the ADD
Let him stay up late every night
Get up in the morning whenever he likes
Indulge his rugged rebellious streak
Give him a new toy every week
When people say he’s spoilt
Whisper to friends that it’s ADD
MIDDLE
C
Fill him with fear of the stranger danger
The candymen that don’t need the dark
Keep him off the streets he could get by a car
And away from the syringes in the park
Give him all the freedom in the world, as long as he’s inside
VERSE 2
Let him spend days in combat game sessions
Sign him up for karate lessons
Build up his collection of ninja toys
Stick him in daycare with bigger boys
Then when he makes his sister bleed
Spank him for his ADD
Keep him quiet with animation
If he’s causes ttouble he goes in isolation
Don’t bother to plead to get him to read
Talk to the kid like a kid
When he can’t master his ABC
It’s another symptom of ADD
Give him 300 channels and a remote control
40 games for his portable console
20 cereals and 30 shoes
Kill his attention span and ability to choose
So if he doesn’t win the spelling bee
He’ll be able to say it’s his ADD
Memorize the symptoms on Wikipedia
Spout all the stats you heard in the media
Blame the teachers and his education
Sedate him with Ritalin medication
While you at it get something for your anxiety
Float away together on ADD
When he’s older and wiser and his life is a mess
Can’t cope with working or get any success
He’ll remember the snacks of his infancy
All the sugar you ate in pregnancy
When he accuses you of parental deficiency
Plead the 5th and ADD
