I didn't sleep so good

CHORUS
E
I didn't sleep so good (the boat was really rocking)
A
I didn't sleep so good (my head I kept on knocking)
B
I didn't sleep so good (better not piss me off)

VERSE
E
I tried it on the bench with an armrest in my back
A
I don't know what sadistic fuck designed it like that
E                                           B
I gotta lay down, I can't sleep sitting up

I saw you moving around to find a way to suit you
I think you tried more positions than the Karma Sutra
But you won't get satisfaction with an armrest up your arse

CHORUS

VERSE
I tried it on the couch, I tried it on the floor
I was drifting in and out until I woke up around four
When the man at the back started snoring, like a horse

There are other ways to economize
I can do without food or material prizes
But next time Emma, I've gotta have a bed

CHORUS

VERSE

Well the cabins were expensive so we had to ride couch

58 for a shared, a hundred for your own

At least now I know the price of a good night's sleep

They didn't just make it cramped they also made it cold
I didn't have a blanket so I put on all my clothes
And I was shivering all night, rocking along with the boat

CHORUS

Better not piss me off

On the train to Rome

CHORUS (C Am F C)
On the train to Rome
Two rolling stones
Both not alone
But no closer to home

VERSE
C
Emma you must be tired, you should get some sleep
F
I'll wake you up in plenty of time

Jack you're looking cold, use my coat as a blanket
Got to keep yourself warm

BRIDGE
G
Like a sister to a brother
We have to look after each other

CHORUS

VERSE
Well I can see your neck is stiff, turn around I'll give you a massage
Your bag is too fucking big

Give me your card and I'll make the reservations
I will do the thinking today

I made sandwiches and you can have some
Got to keep your strength up

Come stand beside me and we can do some yoga
I have a special routine

CHORUS

OUTRO
Am
And when we arrive
F
You can wait inside
G
I'll get you a delightful
C
Indian takeaway (repeat to fade)

Cold cure blues

VERSE  (C#  C  B  F#)
[Jack and Emma alternate]
I've got a cold coming
I feel it my bones
Rising up
It's gonna be a big one

The fastest cure in the East or West
Is liquid silver down the neck
It's a miracle cure
Works every time for me

It's too expensive and I ain't got none
But I feel the symptoms coming on
My nose is streaming
Working up a head of steam

Pour salt water into each nose
Swirl around until the muscous goes
It dries out the sinuses
Will make the cold go faster

CHORUS (C# F# C# F#)
I've got the cold cure blues
The symptoms or the cure?
I've got the cold cure blues
What's worse well I'm not sure
I've got the cold cure blues

VERSE
That's hurt like hell I need a modern cure
I spent a fortune at the drug store
But it's getting worse
My throat is really raw

Take a clove of garlic in the side of the mouth
It's the best known cure North or South
An antiseptic
Let the juices down

And talk to people with garlic breath?
Ah but it's getting worse now it's on my chest
I'm coughing up phlegm
All colours of the rainbow

Honey in hot water is the best cough mixture
Cheap and easy and bound to fix you
Leave all those expensive drugs
On the shelf

CHORUS

Yoga girl

VERSE (F C Dm7 C)
She rises in the morning
With the birds
Goes to that special place
Deep in herself


Goes through her movements
Like a cat
Stretching out
Reaching up up up


CHORUS
That's my yoga girl
All she can be
Supple and silent
Lithe and free


My yoga girl
A picture of grace
A powerful creature
Contained in herself


VERSE
I see her body
So thin but so strong
Lifting herself
Above the world


In the watery morning light
Her siloutte dances
The first dusty rays
Give her a glow oh oh


CHORUS


MIDDLE (Dm/Am/C)
And she doesn't know that I'm there
Watching her silently
As she moves and rolls and writhes


And she doesn't know that I care
For her so deeply
As she comes back to lie next to me


CHORUS

English folk is utter shit

Capo 5 (F-C & Df)

VERSE 1
C
What's whispered by the mighty oak
G
Down to the elm as a running joke
C
"Have you met the dim wits who make it"
G                           C
English folk is utter shit

VERSE 2
And dance, and dance to the lisping lark
As she screams to the players in the park
Excuse me sir but I must admit
English folk is utter shit

MIDDLE
Bf



VERSE 3
And what of the maid hiding by the lake
As she's serenaded by the minstrels to keep her awake
You're ruining my peace while I quietly sit
English folk is utter shit

The Blair Crusades

VERSE 1
G                                             C             G
Once upon a time there lived an ambitious politician
C                                                          G
Who wanted to change his country as his personal mission

He won the election with a mandate for change
And embarked upon a reforming rampage

BRIDGE
Em                                                              G
As time passed his country's problems weren't big enough
Em                                              C
A religious man with a direct line to God

He looked up for problems further out in the world
And counselled his people for war

D     C
For crusades

CHORUS
G                         Em             G
Arise, arise, First Minister of War
C                                    G
Explain to the people what's worth fighting for

Arise, arise, First Minister of War

Tell them what people will die for

Now ride, let's ride into history

For something that's bigger than just you and me

VERSE 2
Allied with America he launched the attacks
To quell Afghanistan and bring freedom to Iraq

The invasions turned out to be the easiest parts
But just 'cos you got the head doesn't give you the heart

BRIDGE
All the many factions began to uprise
And hundreds of thousands of people died

Bloody fighting continued day and night
And still there is no end in sight

For the crusades

CHORUS

MIDDLE
Whether for the attention or the power
He wanted to be the man of every hour

Drunk on attention he tried to seduce success
But all he ever managed was a hand up her dress

VERSE 3
Fighting on so many fronts at home and abroad
Against deception and allegations of fraud

His own country spiralled into decay and debt
And it was clear that he'd lost out on his legacy bet

BRIDGE
Finally he abdicated a ruined man
But claimed no regrets for the things he had done

And if he had his chance he would do the same
But nobody would follow him again

On the crusades

CHORUS

Drama star

VERSE 1
                      Dm
Nothing's ever easy with you
                           Am
You'll always find some trouble to get to
                      C
There's nothing more that I want to do
                      Dm
I know that's enough now I'm through

Why you always stealing the scene?
I think you'll forever be sixteen
Always a young drama queen
I don't what to hear where you've been

CHORUS
Am       C            Dm
I don't want your drama x4

VERSE 2
You're always ready with an excuse
Of why you're needing help, it's a ruse
You're showing us how easily your bruise
It's like if you're alone they you lose

And nothing is ever your fault
There's always another reason to blame
And you're so bare-faced, where's you shame?
I think you just think it's a game

CHORUS

MIDDLE
Why do you need so much attention?
I just want a quiet life
It used to be entertaining, now it's just a drag
Put the handbook back in your bag

CHORUS

My leaving was a long time coming

VERSE 1
                              F
I'm better now I've gone
                        Am
It was bad what I'd become
                                       Dm
A non-resolving sum
                            C
I was only heading down

I know I share the blame

For the chaos reign

The money down the gaps

Tried to fill where we lacked

Foolish through and through

I thought the more you do
More chances to come true
Partly guilty rich, and young

The damn house we bought
Was nothing like we thought
A museum of the things
We were too lazy to learn

CHORUS
I'm leaving those ways
Leaving that waste
Leaving your words
Leaving those days

Leaving that life
Leaving those walls
Leaving that look
Leaving it all... far behind

VERSE 2
So take all my clothes
My many mannered robes
My vanity expose with your voodoo doll

Pile it on a pyre
Build your threatened fire
Of my decorative books and silent records

And my writings that you read
Where you ripped up what I said
Burn them down instead
To give you better status

CHORUS

MIDDLE
But it's because of that I've gone so far
I was wound up so tight
The tension now released
Has catapulted me

You can't stop me now I'm running
My engines a humming and a gunning
You know my leaving was a long time coming

VERSE 3
And once you've cleared me out
The fire will reveal
All the unused gifts
That tried to heal the rifts

The guru behind the curtain

Awaits your meditation

Behind non-reflective glass

He laughs and he laughs

Ride that dusty racing bike
Along now empty shelves
Past the piano never played
To the place you never prayed

CHORUS

Couchsurfer's riposte

VERSE 1
E
Beware of hidden dangers
And don't stay with strangers
B
Bad things do go on

Book well in advance
And don't leave things to chance
Make sure all the Ts are crossed

CHORUS
E
Those are your fears
A                                   B
Don't put your weight on me
E
Those are your fears
A                                 B
Don't challenge the way I see

VERSE 2
Be sure to guard you home
From the many threats unknown
Lock your windows and doors

Better keep a gun
To protect you from someone
If they try to get in

CHORUS

MIDDLE

           A                          B

If you carry fear when you go

       E                    A

And think of scenarios

         E                A               B

Then you will surely see them realised

But I've travelled and I've seen

Friendliness wherever I've been

If you carry it in you

No man

VERSE 1
A
Tell him that the earth goes round the sun
Tell him that you've never really loved anyone

CHORUS
E                                       D                    A
He's going to disagree with everything you say

VERSE 2
Tell him that you've put money on Brazil to win
Tell him you think quite highly of Vera Lynn

CHORUS

MIDDLE
It's not that he likes to argue, he doesn't offer a debate
It's more like a flat refusal

It's an automated response, the whole world is wrong
And he's the only one taking a stand

VERSE 3
Tell him that two plus two will always be four
Tell him that you thinking about protesting the war

CHORUS

He's not going to ever let you think you've had your way

He's going to disagree every single day

Son of a gun

Capo 5th

G
Every son of a gun is some mother's son
C
Love everyone

The flood

Capo 3rd

VERSE 1
G                             G
The fateful waking dream
                                                 C
Turns the sweetest stream you've seen
                                    G
Into a vengeful fighting force
                                  D
That breaks out and destroys

                                G
The lush green river banks
                                       C
Will break into advancing flanks
                                     G
And the whole perspiring army
                                      D
Will growl like a thousand drums
                        G
When the water comes

VERSE 2
It can't be talked down or contained
It won't be rationed with or restrained
An unleashed
And all it seeks is down

All will go from green to brown
As it hurtles through the town
Taking all before it
Until everything is gone
When the water comes

MIDDLE
And when the beast is spent
All the powers

The high mark on the wall
And the stench of

Then it will recede
Slowly to reveal
What the waters done

MI5 vs. Omar Deghages

VERSE
Omar Deghages was over in Afghanistan
There with his wife and children when the bombing began
He new the score, the start of the war

He had escaped to Lahore but was abducted in the night
By a gang of policeman who were far from polite
A private corps, through the back door

He told them a few details but they wanted it all
The fact he lived in Britain didn't matter at all
He didn't tell, he didn't tell

He thought he'd be better off with the Americans
But they turned out more violent than the Pakistans
He was wanted alive, by MI5

CHORUS

                G

If only he'd talked to us, your honour

                  C

If only he'd told the truth

               D                                                G

Instead of being evasive and telling obvious lies

But I can't give evidence about it

It's a national secret

You can torture me, but I'll never tell

VERSE

He was happy to be told he was being rendered away
A place in the Carribean called Guantanamo Bay
A living hell, a living hell

He was there for 33 months and thought he was going to die
They beat him so bad that he lost an eye
In his cell, they said he fell

Now he's suing the British government trying to get himself a trial
But they're stalling the release of over half a million files
It's taking a while, it's take a while

There are 60 lawyers working with black market pens
It'll take about nine years before they get to the end
They're working hard, they're working hard

CHORUS

MIDDLE
G
There has been torture going on
C
But we can't tell anyone 

Empire state of mind (crowd-pleasing cover)

Capo 2nd


VERSE 1 

F#
Yeah,

Yeah, I'm up at Brooklyn,

now I'm in Tribeca,

right next to DeNiro,

But i’m hood forever,


Bmaj7

I’m the new Sinatra,

and as i made it here,

i can make it anywhere,

yeah they love me everywhere,

F#
i used to cop in Harlem,

all of my dominicanos

right there up on broadway,

and back to McDonalds,

Bmaj7
took it to my stash spot,

5-60 State street,

catch me in the kitchen like a Simmons whipping Pastry,

F#
cruising down 8th street,

off white lexus,

driving so slow but BK's from Texas,

Bmaj7
me I’m up at Bed Stuy,

home of boy Biggie,

now i live on billboard,

i brought my boys with me,

F#
say wat up to Ty Ty,
still sipping Mai-tai

sitting courtside Knicks and Nets give me high fives,


BRIDGE
Bf

N-gga i be Spiked out, i can trip a referee,

tell by my attitude I most definitely from...

CHORUS

Bmaj7
New York,
                                                    F#

Concrete jungle where dreams will come true,

F#
There's nothing you can’t do,
                      Bmaj7

Now you’re in New York,

                                               F#
these streets will make you feel brand new,

Big lights will inspire you,

                     Bmaj7
lets hear it for New York, New York, New York

VERSE 2

Now I'm a super troubadour

See me on my world tour

Learning more about myself
and the world as I explore

America by car
And Europe train
Now I'm gonna go by bicycle
And a bit by plane

Gave up my home
And sold my possessions
Learnt that you don't need shit
I live for the sessions

Gotta get to a 1000
Like street fights and co.
Then I'll know, where I go, how to put on a show

I'm meeting people of all walks and breeds and creeds
And providing for their entertainment needs

BRIDGE
But while we're getting factual
You should know that I'm not actually from....

CHORUS

VERSE 3
So I made my dream true
But still I got no crew
From booking, to plugging, everything I do

And mediocrity's blocking me with people trying to play
If you've nothing new to say
Then get the fuck out of my way

N-gga try an idea?
Engage your brain
Don't just be making noise
You all sound the same

They're all trying to be twee
With meaningless poetry
Why don't you read a newspaper?
Don't be writing me me me me me

I blame the dumb hicks
All the Blunt chicks
Who don't care for  lyrics
Dare talk at my shows pricks

I'm underrated
Unappreciated
Even though I'm streets ahead
When you hear what I've created

I even went to the apple core
Looking for a big score
But I got no draw
I played to the sound guy y'all

BRIDGE
I'll have a next time, I can make it anywhere, but I got to live there, I'm talking...

CHORUS

MIDDLE
B
One hand in the air for the big city,

Street lights, big dreams all looking pretty,
C#

no place in the World that can compare,
Ebm

Put your lighters in the air, everybody say yeaaahh
come on, come,
Bf

yeah,

CHORUS

When the oil runs out

CHORUS - Denial, anger

When the oil runs out

We'll all be in denial

When the oil runs out

There will have to be a trial
When the oil runs out
We'll they'll just have to drill more
When the oil runs out
Did they look everywhere offshore?
When the oil runs out
They'll fighting in the streets
When the oil runs out

They'll be tearing up the seats

When the oil runs out

We'll be under attack

When the oil runs out

That will be that

VERSE

Dm                          G

No more umbrellas, no more wellies

No more toothpaste or petroleum jelly

Goodbye plastic, goodbye gas

Goodbye the good times you went by so fast

There must be another barrel down there somewhere

                                                                         C
Why don't they drill another hole and make a bigger well

CHORUS -  bargaining, depression

When the oil runs out

People will want proof
When the oil runs out

The price with go through the roof
When the oil runs out

Then they will fight over the last barrel
When the oil runs out
Our live's will be in peril

When the oil runs out

We'll have to cut back

When the oil runs out

That will be that

VERSE

No more batteries, no more grease

No more footballs or toilet seats

Goodbye CDs, goodbye speakers

Goodbye nice clothes and brand new sneakers

There must be other materials we'll have to look around

Maybe have to redesign the whole damn town

CHORUS - acceptance

When the oil runs out

We'll just have to go back to wood
When the oil runs out
It might turn out to be good

When the oil runs out

There won't be so much greed

When the oil runs out
And things we knew we didn't need

OUTRO
Dm                             G
What would life be like without oil?
Will the world stop without oil?
How will we fight wars without oil?
And what will we fight for without oil?

Hymn for the shareholders

Better in D

VERSE 1
         E
Dear shareholders
              Asus
Living somewhere out there
                           E
We hope you're a happy God
                        B
And that you care

Have you heard about
How we scrimp and we sacrifice
All the many corners
Cut for your 'end?

VERSE 2
Dear shareholders
We know we are the lucky ones
Unlike those colleagues
Whose jobs went abroad

We hope you spare a thought
For the people working over there
In harsher conditions
For a much lower wage

CHORUS 1

             Asus

Do you even care?

            E
Do you hear our prayers?
              Asus
Are you a man like me?
      B
Or just, another company?

VERSE 3
This hymn for the shareholders
We sing to be thankful for
Your investment in us
When we needed more

We pray for your confidence
In these hard times
And that this quarter
You will think fine

CHORUS 2

Do you even care?

Do you hear our prayers?

Do you have hopes and dreams?

Or are you just, another pension scheme?

MIDDLE

F#m                               B
It's not how it's meant to be
We were supposed to own the corporations
Now they're running society
Is it too late to undo
The soulless corporations
For the sake of me and you

VERSE 4

Dear shareholder

We hear you're not satisfied

The management tells us all

That we haven't tried

Why don't you talk to us

Can you give us a sign

Is all that you want from us

Just to send money?

CHORUS 1

Sweatshop sing-along

CHORUS
A
We're all working together
E
We're out there with a mission
D                   E               A
Trying to save you a fortune

We're pushing down prices
And never knowingly wrong
Trying to save you a fortune

VERSE
Well my supplier Ravi in India
He's only 7 years old
But already a shining star

He works for 10 cents a day
98 hours a week
Making napkin rings for you

He's running out of time
Gotta be done by Christmas
And he's making himself pretty sick

CHORUS

VERSE
Me I search for suppliers
I don't look very hard
They're all dying to get on-board

We never knowingly use children
But it's a long supply chain
And there are places it can go wrong

So I cover my back
Always asking questions
But the prices say it all

CHORUS

MIDDLE
A
You buy the cheap stuff
E
So you can't really complain

You buy the cheap stuff

We do it in your name

You buy the cheap stuff

It's you he's working for

You buy the cheap stuff

If only you'd pay more

VERSE
Ravi's one in a million
We couldn't do it without him
He makes the whole thing possible

From 9am til 11 at night
He works there without light
For money he think's sent home to his mum

It's not much of a life
But at least he's not alone
He has 200 million friends

CHORUS

Mel Gibson, bad bastard

VERSE 1

Dm                        G

"The Jews are responsible,

     C                          Am

for all the wars in the world"
Dm                                            G
"You mother fucker. I'm going to fuck you."
C                                                      Am
"What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?"
Dm     F       C
"Are you a jew?"

CHORUS
Em                  Am                        C
What goes through Mel Gibson's mind?
Em                 Am                          C
What goes through Mel Gibson's mind?
Em                Am                           F
What goes through Mel Gibson's tiny tiny
G          Em       Am
tiny tiny tiny tiny mind?
F      G     C
God only knows

VERSE 2
"I am going to come and burn the house down
but you will blow me first."

"You look like a pig in heat,
and if you're raped it will be your fault."
"Are you a jew?"

CHORUS

MIDDLE
Am                                 C
"How dare you act like a bitch
F                                    C
when I have been so f***ing nice."
Am   G
I need a drink

C                            Em
The world is against me
F                          G      C
Now I know how Jesus felt

CHORUS

Eindhoven: The city of light

VERSE 1
G
Well I grew up, in a town called Eindhoven
C
It means the last farm, in the South of North Brabant
G
It is ok there, there are a few things to do
C
But I wouldn't live there too, no not if I were you
Em
But you should spend at least one night
D/F#
In the city of light
C
Go down tonight, ho ho
D/F#
To the city of light

VERSE 2
If you want music, you don't have to walk very far
They get a lot of good bands there at the Effenaar
Or you want to party now? Well there's the Dans Salon
You can get your freak on, and maybe something more on
Be warned the girls are all a little uptight
In the city of light
But they're polite, oh ho
In the city of light
 
CHORUS
G                 C
Go, go, go - if you're around there, but
G                         C
Don't, don't, don't - settle down
Em                                   D/F#
There are many better places to be
 
VERSE 3
If you're a pothead, there are some coffee shops
You can get damaged, trying all kinds of crops
Or you're on a pub crawl, go down the Stratumseind
You'll have a whale of a time, with the people you find
And you'll very rarely ever see a fight
In the city of light
You'll be alright, oh ho
In the city of light
 
CHORUS (many, many, many, many....)
 
MIDDLE
G
You may get offered 
Em
A fancy job at Philips
G
You may decide that
C
The living standards are so good
G
You may get married
Em
To a nice girl named Yvette
G
You may be happy
D/F#
But in time you will regret it
 
Repeat VERSE 2

CHORUS

Another dead man in Afghanistan

VERSE

Dm                                                             G

Every day we're wearing the insurgents down

There are casualties but our strategy is sound

We have a timetable to leave and will out when the time is right

We need momentum to take us on to the next fight, and we know we're right

CHORUS

Dm

It's all part of a bigger plan

G

Another dead man in Afganistan

(Audience repeats) Another dead man in Afganistan

VERSE 2

We're marching today to stop this so called war
We know what they're really fighting for
They're turning the country into a pit of drugs and corruption and death
It's all about exploitation and theft, 'til there's nothing left

CHORUS

VERSE

We're waging a war against the infidels

As our fathers and grandfathers did

The time will come when you have to withdraw

And that's the moment that we'll keep fighting for

CHORUS

VERSE

The army was the only way out for a guy like me

My friends fight in gangs, I fight for my country

When I'm out I'll build a future you will see

Going to make life better for me, and my family

CHORUS

OUTRO

Ain't you learnt nothing from Vietnam

(Audience) Another dead man in Afghanistan

It's our duty to stop the Taliban

(Audience) Another dead man in Afghanistan

How many must die 'til you understand?

(Audience) Another dead man in Afghanistan

We will end what we began

(Audience) Another dead man in Afghanistan

Tell me if you've got a better plan

(Audience) Another dead man in Afghanistan