Eindhoven: The city of light

VERSE 1
G
Well I grew up, in a town called Eindhoven
C
It means the last farm, in the South of North Brabant
G
It is ok there, there are a few things to do
C
But I wouldn't live there too, no not if I were you
Em
But you should spend at least one night
D/F#
In the city of light
C
Go down tonight, ho ho
D/F#
To the city of light

VERSE 2
If you want music, you don't have to walk very far
They get a lot of good bands there at the Effenaar
Or you want to party now? Well there's the Dans Salon
You can get your freak on, and maybe something more on
Be warned the girls are all a little uptight
In the city of light
But they're polite, oh ho
In the city of light
 
CHORUS
G                 C
Go, go, go - if you're around there, but
G                         C
Don't, don't, don't - settle down
Em                                   D/F#
There are many better places to be
 
VERSE 3
If you're a pothead, there are some coffee shops
You can get damaged, trying all kinds of crops
Or you're on a pub crawl, go down the Stratumseind
You'll have a whale of a time, with the people you find
And you'll very rarely ever see a fight
In the city of light
You'll be alright, oh ho
In the city of light
 
CHORUS (many, many, many, many....)
 
MIDDLE
G
You may get offered 
Em
A fancy job at Philips
G
You may decide that
C
The living standards are so good
G
You may get married
Em
To a nice girl named Yvette
G
You may be happy
D/F#
But in time you will regret it
 
Repeat VERSE 2

CHORUS

Another dead man in Afghanistan

VERSE

Dm                                                             G

Every day we're wearing the insurgents down

There are casualties but our strategy is sound

We have a timetable to leave and will out when the time is right

We need momentum to take us on to the next fight, and we know we're right

CHORUS

Dm

It's all part of a bigger plan

G

Another dead man in Afganistan

(Audience repeats) Another dead man in Afganistan

VERSE 2

We're marching today to stop this so called war
We know what they're really fighting for
They're turning the country into a pit of drugs and corruption and death
It's all about exploitation and theft, 'til there's nothing left

CHORUS

VERSE

We're waging a war against the infidels

As our fathers and grandfathers did

The time will come when you have to withdraw

And that's the moment that we'll keep fighting for

CHORUS

VERSE

The army was the only way out for a guy like me

My friends fight in gangs, I fight for my country

When I'm out I'll build a future you will see

Going to make life better for me, and my family

CHORUS

OUTRO

Ain't you learnt nothing from Vietnam

(Audience) Another dead man in Afghanistan

It's our duty to stop the Taliban

(Audience) Another dead man in Afghanistan

How many must die 'til you understand?

(Audience) Another dead man in Afghanistan

We will end what we began

(Audience) Another dead man in Afghanistan

Tell me if you've got a better plan

(Audience) Another dead man in Afghanistan

Beautiful girl (if you shaved your moustache)

VERSE
D
You're really quite pretty
G                                       A
You've got a wonderful sense of humour

You seem very intelligent
You're almost perfect in many ways

But you're doing some dumb things
Which are really holding you back

CHORUS
D
If you shaved
A
And lost a bit of weight
G                                    A
You'd be the prettiest girl in the state

VERSE
Sure you've got good with the makeup
And you do your hair really nice

But you know you're just moving
Leftovers round the plate

You need to cut to the source
Cut down what goes in your mouth

CHORUS

VERS
And if you eat a little healthier
You'd save a lot of money

You wouldn't need the spot cream
Or the shampoo for your scalp

The pills that you're popping
Would be unnecessary

CHORUS

MIDDLE
G                   A
It's so sad to see
Your talents being hidden from view

VERSE
And what's with the moustache?
Has anybody told you it looks good?

Not even in the right light
Would I say that it looks cool

You're thinking of dying it
It's not the colour that's the problem

CHORUS

The Foundation

VERSE
C
I wasn't expecting
Am
Such a wonderful night
C
I'm overcome by you
G
You've been a delight

There's so much to remember
About you
And the thing that we have
Just been through

CHORUS
F

But you'd be a little clearer in my

G
Memory

F                              G
If you walk over to me

              C
And buy a CD
G  C

VERSE 2
The color of your eyes
The way you wore your hair
Your special smell
Your quiet stare

Yes the way you undressed me with those
Bedroom eyes
It's just a shame the room is
Mostly guys

This is an audience
That knows what's funny
I just hope you bought
Plenty of money

I'll even sign yours
To show I care
But it's worth more without
Those ones are rare

CHORUS
The only way that I could be

More happy

Is if you walk over to me

And buy a CD

VERSE 3

If you don't want the clutter
Just make a donation
I am after all a
Charitable foundation

There is no middle man
It goes straight to me
And I won't spend it on drinks
I get them for free

I don't have possessions
All the money goes
On making albums and
Getting me to shows

CHORUS
So if you can help me on
To my next destination
Well then please.... make a donation

Anglo-Saxon attitude

VERSE

C

It's a maddening, childish, joke

Em

How you float through life on a wave

I find you so infuriating

With that stupid ever-present grin

The cards always falling your way

                                         Am

It can't always be your lucky day

BRIDGE

                                       F

Doesn’t it strike you as strange

                                                     C

That you’re happy when we’re all in pain

                                                    F

I want to wipe that smile of your face

                                                 G

You need to be shown your place

CHORUS

C

I want you to fail

G

I've been praying so hard

F

Only with your demise, will my spirits rise

G

I long for you to lose

I want you to fall / I want to see a tear

Flat on your face / Roll down your face

If I had one wish, it would be this

Failure for you

VERSE

It would mean so much to me

More than I'd let you know

Your wild and careless air

Is too much for me to bare

It goes against the world that we live in

It’s not a good beginning

BRIDGE

You need to see that life is hard

That happiness is just a façade

Imagine if we all acted so free

What would happen to society?

CHORUS

MIDDLE

F                                                                         Am

You can't just go through life letting nothing get to you

People will think you’re looking down on them

F

You’ve got an attitude

G

You’re riding for a fall

CHORUS

The girl with the perfect posture

VERSE
F#
Some men like big girls, some like 'em small
F#
Some men like  short ones, others like 'em tall
B
Some are into bottoms, others into breasts
F#
But she's got something that's by far the best

BRIDGE
C#
She's so fine
B
Make her mine
F#
It's her spine

CHORUS
B
I'm in love with her perfect posture
E
She's like a ray in a darkened night
B
And you know that I want to get with her
E
It's so sexy how she stands up so straight

I'm in love with her perfect posture
It's like she's powered by some strength inside
That's the reason a girl was made for
That's a back that I want to ride

VERSE
While other girls cower and other girls bow
With rounded backs and heads bent low
She's like a beacon         tall in the night
A bright example of how it's done right

BRIDGE

CHORUS

SOLO 

VERSE
I've tried to emulate but it might be too late
I've rounded shoulders, my back isn't straight
I know that she is out of my reach
But I   want to learn if she's willing to teach

BRIDGE
The way she stands
It's so grand
Please command

The great boredom battle

VERSE 1

D

I'm boring myself

Bm

Slowly to death

G

And I'm taking you with me

A

We've not much time left

My mother said, "Only the boring get bored"

But you need to accept some of the blame

We're in this together, this is our show

You can determine how well it goes

BRIDGE

E

I know something

G

Has to change

CHORUS

D

I'm bored by you, I'm bored by me

A

I'm bored by everything I see

G

The repetition, the carrying on

A

While we pretend there’s nothing wrong

I’m bored by love, I’m bored by hate

It’s all too slow, we’re all too late

While the sands they won’t be stopped

I need my world to be rocked

VERSE 2

I need an accident

A near-death experience

To shake me up and make me appreciate

All the things I've got

That's why I take risks

To nearly lose it all

To look over the edge into the abyss

And back at the world I'd miss

BRIDGE

CHORUS (1^st part)

CHORUS

I'm bored by travel, I'm bored by change

It makes no difference, I'm still the same

I’m the problem all along

But most of all I’m bored by this song

CHORUS (2^nd part)

The great boredom battle by thejackstaffordfoundation

Renee Vancouver

VERSE

G                                     D

I traversed the continent from East to West

C

When I finally ran out of land

The dusk streets of Vancouver were dusty and dry

The red sun dripped out of the sky

I took my meal up on main street in a greek restaurant

From a waitress with powder blue eyes

CHORUS

Em

Hey there Renee

C

Well I wish I could stay

D

But my wings will wilt quickly on the land

We'll meet up one day

In a far away place

When my feathers make a bed on the ground

VERSE

She was house-sitting in a penthouse flat

We made love to a cityscape

An aspiring actress with time on her side

Not shy of 23

10 years my junior but travel years ahead

I've only been soaring 9 months

From a cabin in the Yukon to the

Learnt the sitar in India

All in all the kind of girl than no sane man would leave

I have no case for sanity

CHORUS

MIDDLE

C                            Am/B

When I think of the faces and places

C                           Am/B

I wouldn’t have met if I didn’t take off

My heart it grows heavy

My blood rises up

That I didn't fly years ago
Years ago

VERSE

My nice shoes are worn, my zip suit is torn

And my bad back wants to lie in your bed

But every stab and crack is a reminder I have

Of a weight I'm not built to bear

CHORUS

Renee Vancouver by thejackstaffordfoundation

Super easy classic rock

VERSE 1
F
Super easy classic rock
Rudy radio never stops

It's only Classics nothing new
They've got the tunes to get you through

CHORUS

C                                  F

Ohhhhhh... classic rock radio

VERSE 2
Miles from nowhere, no CDs
Classic rock is all you need

Better like it, better choose it

It's either that or country music

CHORUS

VERSE 3
Slowing down now into town
It's time to cruise and look around

Windows down and elbows out
You know what is blasting out

CHORUS 2
C                                    F
Oh ohhhh... classic rock radio
C                                    F

Oh ohhhh... the mood to cruise

MIDDLE

Bf                                C

On a roadtrip across America

F                                          Bf

The soundtrack takes care of itself

C

Let's go

Down the road

VERSE
Super easy classic rock
Rudy radio never stops

It might be Sabbath it might be Zep
Whatever it you're always set

CHORUS

Misogyny in D

VERSE
Cm
I've travelled the world
F
Seen the wildest of things
Cm
But the creature that is woman
Dm               F
Is the meanest I've seen

CHORUS
Cm
Why are they like, the way they are?
F
Why are they so mean?
Cm
How'd they get so angry?
F
It's just so obscene

VERSE
Then you meet a new one
You think this one is nice
But wait for the dark side
There's always a price

CHORUS

MIDDLE
Cm
They love to battle, they love to fight
F
They'll rough you up, they spit and they bite
Cm
So much anger, so much hate
F
They'll work you over 'til you break

VERSE
It's just one of life's mysteries
That will never be solved
Just sit down your son
He needs to be told

CHORUS
They're just like the way they are
Insecurity and pride
Don't let them get to you
Keep cold inside

They're just like the way they are
Vindictive and petty
Enjoy it as a show
Just pick one that's pretty

The way they are by thejackstaffordfoundation

The bitch behind blue eyes

Capo 2nd

VERSE
Am
Your hard luck story
Em
Is written all over your face
Am
Doomed with trancing beauty
Em
In a worshipping world
Am
Fated with a face
Em
That pleases

BRIDGE
It's hard, it's hard, they don't realise how hard

CHORUS
Still as high as you go
NO NEED TO GROW
You can aspire to shallow
NO NEED TO KNOW
Will be forever callow
LAUGH AND GLOW
What the Gods will bestow
ANGEL DOUGH
Solo

VERSE
You don't make the mind poo
That we all wade through
You have a hardened thick skin
With a sickly heart within
You're pleasing on the eyes
Much harder on the ears

BRIDGE

CHORUS

MIDDLE
Why, should you try?
You far from needy
To try for more than beauty
Would just seem greedy

CHORUS

Bittersweetheart by thejackstaffordfoundation

Music for a mountain top

Capo 5th

VERSE
G
Maybe I'm older or maybe I'm wiser
C
And maybe me doubt myself
G
What am I playing and what am I saying?
C
I'm becoming very tired of words
A
It's time to give the people what they want

CHORUS
G
And they want music for a mountain top
C
Lyrics that mean nothing at all
Em
Ignore the indications and all the conversations
A
Avoid the complications

Just play music for a mountain top
Cliches at a dollar a pop
Just keep on the melody, subjects are a malady
Pander to the gallery

Verse 2
I've played to blank faces in all different places
All that changes is the scenery

"We came here to talk and we came here to drink
And we're not in the mood to think"

I need to give the people what they want

CHORUS

MIDDLE
Em
If you're having ideas but nobody hears
D
Are they really ideas at all?

CHORUS
Music for a mountain top
Move your head around in a bop
And don't put thought into your next rhyme, that's just a waste of time
All of it is all fine

Just play music for a mountain top
Something for the Starbuck's shop
And just sing rather quietly, mumble rather silently
I want to give it to them violently

Music for a mountain top
Smile while you look at the clock
Leave them in a good mood, don't let yourself be getting rude
Think about the good food

Music for a mountain top by thejackstaffordfoundation

Anglophone

VERSE 1
Am                                          Dm
After 5 weeks of driving round North America
Am                                          Dm
I thought I’d seen all it had to give
Am                                          Dm
But then I arrived in Riviere du Loup
Am
The way they looked, the way they talked
Dm                E
J’e suite en anglophone

VERSE 2
After 5 weeks of shows in North America
My act was perfected and refined
I told my jokes and stories for an hour and a half
But nobody cried, nobody laughed
J’e suite en anglophone

MIDDLE
E                                  Am
What kind of a place is this?
E                                                 Am
I think they’re playing a game with me
E                                                   Am
Surely they get their English from the TV
Dm                 E
I am still in North America

VERSE 3
A few days later in Montreal at the Cagibi
A beautiful young lady lands a look on me
The kind the language barrier can't hold back
“Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?”
Ja
J’e suite en anglophone

A cruel beginning to my decline and inevitable death

VERSE 1
F                                  Fsus
I start every day with a forlorn sigh
As it's shown to me that I'm going to die

It's hours now 'til I can face the day

Convincing myself that it's still OK

My mantra's got better now the more I've rehearsed

"It'll be alright if it doesn't get worse"

CHORUS

         Bf
It's not fair
                        F
I'm losing my hair

VERSE 2
I feel a little better now I've said it out loud
In front of this forgiving crowd

Men out there know what I'm going through
Trying to work out what I should do

Some will shave, some where a hat
I wish there was a way that I could get it back

CHORUS

MIDDLE
F
I'm sure
C
They'll have a cure
Bf
Quite soon
Dm               C
Too late for us

F
So we struggle on
C
Being brave
Bf
Our only solace
C                       F
Our Bruce Willis posters

VERSE 3
It will never grow back, this I know

Too many arrows have left the bow

I'll always wonder if it was fate or fault
My lifestyle or a natural malt

If I'd slowed myself down, not been in such a hurry

With all the bad things, all the worries

CHORUS

Fsus
Losing my hair x3

The law of diminishing marginal returns

VERSE 1
F                        Am                 C               Dm
First hours in the club were the best hours ever
F                Am                     Dm          C
I knew right then that it could never get better

Surrounded by friends it was a night to remember
We danced around the fire in the glow of the embers

That's when I met her and now I can see
I should have left then with a golden memory, it is

CHORUS
      C        F              Am         Dm
The law of diminishing marginal returns
       C         F            Am          C
The law of diminishing marginal returns

The law of diminishing marginal returns
The law of diminishing marginal returns

(Twice round instrumental)

VERSE 2
First times we made love they were the best times ever
I knew right then that it would never get better
We had long wild nights and wide crazy days
Everything was good and new in our ways
But when the honeymoon went down and the hot sun came up
It was glaringly obvious that enough was enough, it was

CHORUS

VERSE 3
To make it alright we thought we'd move in together
The first days together were the best days ever
Building a home we were fresh we were keen
But soon we settled into a depressing routine
Straight home from work and wallow in TV
Until we hated everything and neither of us could see, it was

CHORUS

MIDDLE
Am
It all happened way too fast
C
Love isn't meant to last
Am
We all look better off in the past
Dm
There's no shame in starting again

CHORUS

OUTRO
The law of diminishing marginal returns x5

Wild Man Fischer

D - G - F - G

Larry Fischer was a singer in LA who sold original songs for a dime
He did this for years waiting for his chance
One day it comes along when Frank Zappa says “let’s make a record’
They work together for three months and Larry was over the moon
It’s hard to be, great when you’re straight
It’s hard to be, great when you’re straight

Unfortunately the record didn’t sell as well as Larry had hoped
Angry he threw a bottle and it nearly hit Zappa’s baby
Which meant the end of their friendship, even though he hadn’t meant it
Larry was a manic depressive paranoid schizophrenic
It’s hard to be, great when you’re straight
It’s hard to be, great when you’re straight

Like many people the problems began young, he was a neglected child
He wasn’t diagnosed and didn’t get the help or medication he needed
He got angrier and angrier and finally went at his mother with a knife
So he was locked away at 16 in a mental institution
And they thought electric shock therapy might be the solution
It’s hard to be, great when you’re straight
It’s hard to be, great when you’re straight

He probably came out crazier than he went in and led a merry go round of a life
His career didn’t end with Zappa, he worked with other avande guarde figures
Music pouring out of him every day
He’s still an inspiration to people around the world
It’s hard to be, great when you’re straight
It’s hard to be, great when you’re straight

Most of us other artists aren’t hard wired as wonderfully as this
We have to manufacture some chaos and unbalance
Whether it be drink or drama or drugs or coffee
Because from a world of order nothing new comes
It’s hard to be, great when you’re straight
It’s hard to be, great when you’re straight

I know all this from a documentary, I’ve never met the guy
It ended with good news that he was now doing OK
After 40 years he’s now got drugs to calm him down
But unfortunately he’s lost his pep and isn’t singing anymore
It’s hard to be, great when you’re straight
It’s hard to be, great when you’re straight

Tales at the end

VERSE 1
                                    G
You’re approaching the end
                        C
Your final act nears
                             Am
It’s time to face the music
                        D
Look into your fears

Relax, don’t worry
It’s out of your hands
Sit back and watch the light show
Go out in style

BRIDGE
                Am
It’s been a good life
         C
Not a coulda life
              Em
So as the curtain comes down, bring down the frown
                  D
It’s time you know

CHORUS (Chords same as verse)
Nobody likes a good loser
We all want a scene
Let’s who got to you
Let’s hear who’s mean

Nobody likes a good loser
Get even and now
Tell who us wronged you
Who's a pig who's a cow?

Let’s hear some details
About people we know
Let’s hear the dark side
From one who knows

VERSE 2
Now your world's ending
But ours will go on
You’ve only the info
Of what went on

It’s all over
All bar the screams
Leave us the memories
And all the scars

VERSE 3
You’re going to hell
Might as well tell
Tell us the juicy bits
We’re all dying to know

You left too much out of your biography
You didn’t want to offend
But this is your last chance
You’re among friends

CHORUS

MIDDLE
G
This would be your revenge
Em
Confess and condemn
C
We want to be shocked
About by the secrets of some men

Don't just fade away
Go out with a bang
You can't take them with you
Come on be a man

BRIDGE

CHORUS

Dance for me

VERSE 1
C Am
I’ve been on the radio channels 1 and 3
Dm G
If you live in Holland you might have seen me on TV

I’ve been interviewed and expressed my ideas
Asked for my secrets and my deepest fears

I’ve played for ordinaries without feeling too proud
Sung to the masses and I’ve listened to crowds
C G
Normally I ask a fee but for you I’ll do it for free

CHORUS
C Am
If you dance for me, dance for me
F G
And I will play for you

Dance for me, dance for me
And I will play for you

VERSE 2
I’ve headlined fields on the Isle of Wight
Held my own in a one-way bottle fight
Gone down a storm at the RNID
Young and old couldn’t take their eyes off me
I’m in all the best record shops chagrin
I’ve got my own section in the remainders bin
Normally I ask for food, but for you I’ll do it for free

CHORUS
If you dance for me, dance for me
And I will play for you
If you dance for me, dance for me
And I will play for you

Dance for me, and I will play for you

The curse of standards

CHORUS
D Bm
Lady, you've raised my standards
G A
What a selfish thing to do

Lady, you've raised my standards
Now my happy life is through

VERSE
Bm G
Like a drunk on cheap wine
My gutter life was going fine
Now the taste is plain
Since I savoured champagne
It's a pain

CHORUS

VERSE
I'm too young to settle down
I'm married to the road
I've got grand plans for the future
I don't need this in my load
I'm all bowed

CHORUS

The curse of standards  by  thejackstaffordfoundation 

The trial of Toni Terry

Another topical song. I'm really enthused by the idea of having a residency in a club somewhere and doing all new songs for it every week.

CHORUS

C                                                            Am

Baby, baby, baby, you’ve been awful cruel

C                                                            Am

Maybe, maybe, maybe, I can do better

VERSE 1

Em                                                Am

But I just can’t seem to say goodbye

Em                                                Am

So I’ve taken the twins to Dubai

F                                                G            Em                                    Am

You’re welcome to come and visit, at your own expense

F                                                Am

Adulteries a criminal offence

CHORUS

VERSE 2

I’m can’t cope with the tabloid stories

The rumours that won’t go away

While all you want to do is play,

some things are not a game

How much is enough shame?

CHORUS (instrumental)

MIDDLE

Am                        Em

I have a recurring fantasy

Am                                                D,

You’ve had an accident and can’t walk anymore

Am                                                Em

Then our family will always stay together

G                        Am

Happily ever after

CHORUS

C                                                            Am

Baby, baby, baby, what you’re turning me into

C                                                            Am

Baby, baby, baby, this has got to end

The trial of Toni Terry by thejackstaffordfoundation